A Cozy Mystery...With Cupcakes and Zombies by Duncan Whitehead

Author:Duncan Whitehead [Whitehead, Duncan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-01-23T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

Poppy and Chelsea had much to ponder, and they didn’t waste any time in interviewing the third mistress, retired prostitute Kiki Sapphire, who fortunately lived close by, and was home which was also most fortuitous.

“Miss Whore, sorry, Miss Sapphire,” said Poppy, correcting herself, “You are quite the tramp, by all accounts. A hussy, a vixen, a down-and-dirty trollop. A woman who claims to be a free spirit but is, in fact, a Jezebel!”

“Yes, that’s all correct,” agreed Kiki Sapphire as she sucked on the cigarette contained in a holder. She blew smoke rings into the air as she lay on her chaise lounge, the jewelry Kiki wore jangling as she lowered the cigarette from her lips. “Darling,” Kiki said, “Men simply throw themselves at me,” she blew out more smoke and then tilted her back and laughed. Her elegant gown shimmered, and the jewels on her tiara sparkled. “It’s not my fault that they find me simply… irresistible!” Kiki laughed again and once more tilted her head. For some reason, today, she spoke with a fake European accent.

Poppy and Chelsea both thought the same thing: this woman was nothing more than a cliché that had been done better many times before in other books and even in cartoons where an amorous tom cat tries to woe a sophisticated French feline owned by a rich person. However, that did not deter them from listening.

“Why would I kill poor Bob? I had no motive. I enjoyed his company, yes, I admit it, but it wasn’t love. No, it was purely all about the sex!” Kiki sucked on her cigarette and blew out more smoke rings, and once again, she tilted her head and laughed.

“Maybe, as Chelsea thought after she spoke to you, one of your other lovers was the jealous type?”

“Darling,” said Kiki, “They are all the jealous type,” again, she sucked on her cigarette and then leaned her head back and laughed, which was becoming quite irritating to both Chelsea and Poppy.

“Did you know, Miss Sapphire, that Bob suffered from several sexual diseases? Including chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and herpes?”

Kiki Sapphire shot Poppy a glance which indicated that Poppy had struck a nerve. Kitty sucked on her cigarette, blew smoke rings into the air… you get the picture.

“He passed them on to you, which meant you have had to curtail your brief romances and sexual dalliances. You can no longer feed your appetite for carnal knowledge. I can smell it on you, your hunger for fornication, your thirst for intercourse. You reek of it all! You hated Bob for this. He is the reason for your forced celibacy!”

Kiki Diamond rose from the chaise lounge and threw her cigarette to the ground. “How did you get hold of my medical records? No doubt my doctor caught something from me and told you out of revenge. Yes. I hated Bob Bird! He should have told me that he was riddled with sexually transmitted diseases; the only thing he didn’t have was AIDS. When I found out that I was now suffering from them, he admitted everything, but it was too late.

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